Sometimes, i'm wonder what will life be, when there's no depression, stress, and sleepless night? I still couldn't figure it out, if you, people out there, knew the answer, mind telling me. =)
I haven't been sleeping well lately...the max was 3 to 4 hours which i know it's bad for me. But, what can i do? I have NO CHOICE, I had to stay awake to finish up my assignments plus sleeping would actually make my brain went wondering. Besides, i couldn't even sleep. Which is totally sucks. I have cried, scream, spoke to friends about it, slacking and been drinking 2 cups of coffee in less than an hour. This is the only way to kill my boredom when i'm home plus been trying my fucking best to complete my assignment, when i'm super down. Oh yea, Coffee is my best friend for now. I cant leave without coffee. Seriously. Even though it kills me, by having bad headaches, diarrhea, and even throwing up. Crazy stuff, i know. Hahaha. I think my friends or love ones would probably be screaming now, for torturing myself to the max. Well, i know it hurt me internally, but i got the results that i want. WEIGHT LOSS. Weeee, Indeed...i lose weight too, practically i'm happy for it. Of course, coffee isn't the only thing that cause it, i dont have appetite as well. Guess What?? My diet for now is a meal per day. Pathetic right?
At times, i feel like running away from all the problems i'm facing now. It's hurting me deeply. Might as well you just murder me right away. But, i know i had to be tough to face it anyway, because i know that you cant do anything either. Well, i had no choice but to respect your decision. But i really hope that time flies & the next thing i knew, i'm back home. I know my friends will be there for me when i needed them. That's why i feel grateful of having them in life. That's partly why i choose not to stay at home for now. There's no one for me to turn too when i'm home. EVERYTHING is just electrical items. There's no soul to it. But, thank god that i have assignments to keep my mind busy. I used to hate assignments & felt stress up over it when the dateline is around the corner. But, now, i'm just happy and glad that i have assignments to keep me going and less thought on you. I never knew that i went in too deep this time. Sigh, i should be blame for falling too deep for you, when so many people advices me not too. Well, a price to pay then. But, i would like to thanked you if you are reading my blog for making my life upside down and losing weight in less than a week. Gosh, that was pretty drastic loss though.
No comments:
Post a Comment