BEACH, BEACH & BEACH

Peepz, i'm sorry for leaving my blog unattended for a week. had been procrastinating. LOL. I'm glad that this week ended well & good. Finally, i'm crystal clear of the path i want. Yesterday, i went to Sunset beach with Rachel. For no apparent reasons, i have been dying to go to the beach. I was so crazy to feel those waves sounds & sands. Rachel told me, i was like a kid? Well, that's because i had been caught up with so many stuff lately. Needed that breeze & the sound of waves soo badly.

Decided to wait for Rachel to come back from KL to join me as she wanted to get herself tan. Finally, the plan was a success. Went to Sunset beach at noon & went home at 530pm. Shouldnt have listen to Rachel's advice that it wont be jam. !@#$%%^. I was stucked for a good 15minutes, but, that's because i overtook soo many vehicles. Damn. So, Rachel's traffic advices, better dont listen. Sorry babe, coz you suck. LOL.

Well, it was a good outing & worth it one. I wasnt intend to get myself tan or sunburned but Rachel was dying to get herself tanned. At the end of the day, she look fine, but i was the one who got burned in the face and tanned in my arms & legs. Suck.. argh... It was so obvious, which my face ended up looking like a cook lobster. Oh gawd. Well, told rachel that i will never go near the beach at that hour again. Probably in the evening. She was laughing all the time. HMMMMM.. As i mentioned earlier, the purpose of going to the beach was to clear something & to relax my mind. Did alot of thinking lately which gave me headaches. That's why, dying to get myself landed on the beach.

It was pretty relaxing though by lying down on the arm chair that was provided & enjoy the wave sound plus the breeze. Oh gawd, it was like i'm in paradise. At that moment, i dont wished to go home. I had two reasons why i needed that paradise feeling so badly. First, to get myself clear about the some personal issues and life path that i want.

In the meantime, i had thousands & one question to throwed at someone, but i thought of giving him some time as he has been facing some issues. Well, he had been ignoring my calls or sms & couldnt be bother to know what am i up to & stuff. But, i dont like to leave things danggling. Plus, i couldn't wait for him to call. So, i decided to make that move. I was merely trying my luck but was pretty surprised that he answered my call. So, managed to get the status clear. My heart was pretty doomed when the answer dint turn out to be the one i want. But, i was prepared to face the worst outcome. At first, i really really felt like snapping off the call. But, i was surprised that i could just managed to pull it through by hogging on the phone for nearly 45min. We managed to talked out alot of stuff. it was more like a long lost friend conversation, which i'm glad i did the calling. So, i dont have to wait like a stupid fool by wondering around, waiting for an answer. After that conversation, i was pretty happy that i could still smile & stuff even though it ache a little in the heart.

Since i was at the beach, i just took a long stroll by the sea & feel the sea water wit my legs. LOL. During that long stroll, i was giving myself alot of scenes by throwing questions plus checking out the sea and moutains plus the bird. Lol.. Pretty insane. All of sudden, something just pop into my head, like what are the reasons of me holding on to it, why cant i let go? There's a bird flying freely in the sky. It gave me a thought, why cant i be that bird?? So, i thought of giving some spaces to me & him. Can you believe it??? At that point, i still thought of giving him a second chance. Sigh, i was so sappy. Well, he was complaining something to me about his ex, like interfering back to his life, when he dint want to get stuck in a relationship. So, i thought maybe i will have that chance if i could give him time. It was like releasing the string for the moment and pulling it when i feel like too. It wasnt a complete decision yet. Suddenly, something cross my mind and tell me that there are so much stuff to do in life other than relationship. Why should i limit myself to a certain thing when i can have a horizon to myself?? In a way, i can choose to be happy-go-lucky person, why should i choose to hurt myself? So, decided to have the second option which is to be happy but still wait. LOL.

After talking to some people, it made me realized that i should just kiss the relationship off & focus on my own life. Due to certain stuff, i'm more determine that i should just let it go. No more waiting. Plus, my studies life is ending like real soon, which is pretty suck. Now, i'm missing all those moments. Dint want to let it end so fast. Hahah, like going to class late. All you have to do was apologized & put an innocent smile. Lol. But, when you are working, you could caught yourself jobless if you do that. And that definitely made me think twice about my previous decision. Now, i'm left with 5 months to have fun & enjoy. Do you think i will destroy it? Hell NO. So, i'm clear with it now. No relationship interference at the moment. I'm glad that i went to the beach even though i got my face burned and tanned. At least, i'm clear with what i want now. Weeeee.. So, peepz...if u have any problems, just take a deep breath & slowly think about it. Well, beach would be a great option though. HEHE... =)